hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
