But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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