if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
