i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize