I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
two words...techno handjob
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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