Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
