i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
