White coat. Heels.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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