I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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