you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
