Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
