We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
