ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
