oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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