Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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