super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
