any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
