Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
