dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize