my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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