Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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