Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
