i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize