you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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