3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
