So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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