I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
