Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
