weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
