ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
