She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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