It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.