Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
