420 ftw
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
