Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
