Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
