just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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