1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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