why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.