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physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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