grinding to god bless the USA? really?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina