meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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