Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
