I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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