last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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