In the future we'll all be gay
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
