he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
