They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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