He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
