I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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