Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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