Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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