she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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