Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
