don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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