YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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