His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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