hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
