can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
