He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
