i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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