we're blogging at a bar
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
