Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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