yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize