I just pynch a tree in the face
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize