So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize