he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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