Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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